We have invited Ukrainian children

who were deported to Russia during the war

to our retreat.

Their families were able to

bring them home physically.

Our hope is this place

can soothe their souls a little.

In Estonia, I want to take a break from the sirens

from five in the morning they are howling.

I am going with my grandmother

because my Mum is in the military.

I don't really know what's going to happen there.

Maybe they're going to teach us some kind of yoga

or how to calm yourself

by inhaling and exhaling.

We are taking this trip to rehabilitate my granddaughter

who was held captive.

I don't know how she survived

all of the horror she endured.

Veronika loves animals

this trip will be a way to brighten all the negativity.

We will be with dogs, swim

and take part in some kind of programme.

Are you coming to say goodbye to Grandma?

Sasha, you'll crush Grandma.

There will be psychologists and dogs

and they will dress in clothes

and ask us questions.

For my children I want this trip to be

a mental and physical holiday

when they can spend time outdoors.

Sasha!

What?

Put it over there.

Why should I?

What could be difficult for them

is talking about feelings

because they are strong

they will hold on to the end

and not show their feelings.

Good morning!

We are so happy you are here

and we would like to introduce our team

who you will be spending

these ten wonderful days with.

My name is Inna.

I'm Maarja.

Here with us is Joana.

Next to Joana, Kateryna.

Meelie.

After lunch, we will tell you

what else we can use here

so everyone feels comfortable

and if the kids want to play.

I've got a question.

Wait a second.

Are the dogs sleeping?

Yeah, they are still sleeping.

I also want to swim.

No swimming pool but there is a hot tub outside.

My turn.

She kissed you.

So when a dog licks, it's a kiss?

I'm going to stroke two at once.

What if a third one shows up?

I'll stroke it with my leg.

They are so cute.

Let's get to know each other, ok?

I'm Joana

I'm a psychologist and canitherapist.

Canitherapist means that I have a dog

working next to me.

Next here is Inna.

I'm a counsellor and I'm also a therapy dog handler.

Who is next?

My name is Veronika and I'm fourteen.

I am Sasha and I'm seven.

I'm Kateryna and I'm forty-three years old.

I'm Sviata and I'm nine-years-old.

We already have photos of the dogs

now we will make a big overall family picture.

Are we going to draw the dogs?

No, you must draw yourself.

Too bad because I really wanted to avoid

drawing my portrait.

Today the task is to draw yourself.

This is an invisible drawing.

A fantasy?

No, it's invisible.

Is it going well?

I don't like it already.

Where are your eyes, lips, nose

such beautiful, long hair?

Just a little bit more time.

We'll speak a little about ourselves

and then we'll see what we look like.

Let me remind you, I'm Inna.

This is probably a little bit like me today.

I have one dog and one cat at home.

I'm Kateryna, this is how I drew myself.

I love

beautiful flowers, roses and lilies.

In what direction shall we go?

Next up?

Veronika next, please.

I don't know what to say.

What kind of things do you like?

I love small dogs very much.

I really love them.

My first acquaintance with Veronika was at canistherapy

and I learned a lot from her drawing.

She could not draw herself at all

This is a child who has a kind of emptiness inside.

Her grandmother could be a supportive person for Veronika

but she has another child who has

special physical and psychological needs

which limits how much support she can give Veronika.

I wanted to say to you

not as the organiser of this retreat

but as a human being

I am here for anything you need help with

during the retreat and beyond.

We're all hoping for the best for our time here

but yesterday

there was shelling near my home

and I can't enjoy being here.

I know it's difficult

and it's easy for me to say don't worry

but try to enjoy yourself while you are here.

I know we don't know each other well

but whatever happens

I want to help in any way I can.

I'm very grateful to you.

Home! It's so pretty.

Oh, it was under my ass.

Okay, don't say that word.

Sasha is a wonderful child.

I understand her need, what she desires in her life

what she is lacking.

This is the part I need.

Do you have a Mama?

No.

Why?

I don't know.

Then who gave birth to you?

Mama but then she left.

Where to?

I don't know.

It's a pleasure for us to meet you at this retreat.

Meeli and I will be working with your kids individually.

One of our observations is that

Sasha is looking for a new Mama

it's something very important and valuable for her

and she thinks about it day and night.

Yes, Sasha is looking for a Mama

she is ready to match me to every woman she sees

Exactly! First she checks for a ring

then she asks

'Do you have kids?'

'No.'

'Do you have a husband?'

'No.'

A perfect candidate.

How old was she when she last saw her mother?

Sasha? She was eight-months-old.

I want you to fall out

Sasha seems to be the only one of your children

with this longing for Mama

if no-one shares this feeling

she could feel like a white crow.

But I compensate it all for her.

It's great that you try to do that

but she still needs it.

This is only a small problem for her.

So it's not a problem for you?

As far as I understand

it's not a problem, it's a trifle

we should not indulge it.

Stop yelling!

God damn it!

You won't let me sleep!

I'm sick of it!

Come here.

Why are they pouring water on me?

Come here to me.

Where did you go?

Russia's deportation of Ukrainian children

is systematic, widespread and pre-planned.

Once children are in Russia

it's difficult to locate and retrieve them.

I managed to save my kids from

the jaws of the Russian Federation, it was a miracle.

I'm a simple, rural woman

no one believed I would be able to bring her back.

The lucky few who have been returned

will now start the process of healing

after long periods of separation.

It's not a camel, is it?

Does she have a big heart?

It's a little too big.

Do green horses exist?

No.

Forgive me please. Good boy.

My kids were part of the first group of children

taken to Moscow.

The youngest of the group was my Sasha.

Sasha was five-years-old at the time.

Sasha, hold it with both hands and don't let it go.

Why?

Because you can fall.

We lived in Mariupol

and the Russians had told us to evacuate.

Dad was taken at the checkpoint

and they said it would take one hour

they actually only returned him

in two or three months.

I was put in detention and they were taken away.

We didn't know where Dad was at the time

I know now they took him to jail

and they said if Dad didn't come in three days

we would be adopted by another family.

I was taken to a correctional colony

and spent forty-five days there.

Sasha, mouth off.

Step, step, step

step with your feet.

Let's keep quiet, Sasha.

Will you forgive me?

Stomp your hoof if you forgive me.

If you don't forgive me, make a loud noise.

No, don't eat this one.

Nevermind some black wool on your legs.

You're the most beautiful and the best.

Okay, I need to be quiet.

Did you enjoy it?

I think Sasha's horse is crying already.

Did she talk her to death?

Yes she did.

I don't want to get off!

I don't want to part with her!

She's my best friend now!

I will remember you, baby horse.

I'll tell you a little bit about the plan I have.

Are you ready to go for a walk with us now?

Yes do I have a choice?

Would you want to if you had a choice?

Come on, I'm just joking.

Well it's a joke

but sometimes I feel there's a lot of truth in there.

We don't want to force you.

Let's do an exercise.

Breathe in the air, inflate your stomach

and then breathe out and deflate.

Which hand goes up and goes down first?

This one goes up and goes down first.

You've got a mosquito here.

The same with me and with you.

That's what I said, I breathe just like anyone else.

But it's not always the same.

You can check the way you breathe

at different times of the day.

As if I have nothing else to do!

Sometimes the one that's on the stomach rises first

but most of the times people breathe with their chest.

This is called shallow breathing.

When we're in a hustle or stressed

we start breathing in a shallow way.

This exercise makes me so sleepy.

Because it fills us with oxygen and calms us down.

Okay, now let's go for a walk.

There is a path behind you which you have already walked.

Yeah, yeah that path has been already travelled

that one too and that one

let's look for the one we haven't travelled yet

starting from this point?

You can choose where to go from this point.

We are finally doing what we came here to do.

We're not dealing with any organisational issues

now the real work can begin.

We can be in the moment in every session

working with our hands, hearts, eyes and ears.

I had my personal record at school.

I don't want to go to classes.

Why not?

I thought the classes were interesting!

I'd rather sit and read.

I can hear someone calling for us.

I won't go! I'd rather read!

That's it!

She won't be able to escape.

Try and you will see.

Let's go, sweety pie!

Matvei, I entrust her to you.

Sasha, help me!

I'm not going!

I'm not going!

Let me go!

I didn't hurt her.

Please do not embarrass me in front of everyone.

Good morning.

Let's recall our rules.

Don't offend each other.

Don't interrupt each other.

Don't speak without this pillow.

We are safe to express the emotions inside us.

I'm breathing fresh air and going to the sea

nothing is bothering me

I'm just having a great vacation.

We're sad

we're in pain

because

I have a big family

the war is raging

and my children are on the frontline.

It hurts.

I don't even know what my emotion is today.

The good thing for us is that we can

share our feelings with one another.

If we don't talk about our emotions

then they stay in our body.

Imagine a kettle

the water boils

the steam builds up

but the lid is on tight.

What happens next?

The lid blows off

everything spills out

like an explosion.

Yes, please.

Not in a metal kettle.

In a metal kettle the lid doesn't blow off

the water just evaporates

the lid only blows off if the kettle is plastic.

You'll just ruin your kettle that way.

Unless a person is so strong

the water evaporates throughout his life

in a gradual and timely manner.

Are we talking about emotions or kettles here?

You won't understand, don't even try.

What's with the kettles?

It's a thoughtful metaphor.

It seems to me that the animals can help us

discover and express emotions

that may have been lost

because of everything you have been through.

Let's have a break before the next session.

I'm a lightbulb.

No obscene language.

You are in the minority Evgeny.

Who remembers what this means?

It means we don't do it.

Please take your boxes with you.

I'll ask you what you've found

for your box during the day.

Tiny raspberries.

Can I go inside?

Thank you.

Carefully.

He wants to leave.

Let's go, let's go.

Let's walk together.

Why is he walking at me?

I see, I am ahead

I'm the leader.

Are you okay?

Yes.

On the night the war began

when everything was burning and exploding

Veronika was alone at home.

On the first day of war the village I was in

was occupied by Russia so in a sense

I was already in Russia at that point.

Suddenly a fighter jet is flying over my house

and I'm just standing there and smiling

how interesting

a fighter jet, how interesting.

This isn't your first time, right?

It is.

Really?

Yes.

They took us to a kind of camp in Russia

the police came and took our phones

and told me 'Good morning Veronika

wake up, we're going to the orphanage'.

Oh my God!

No one has told me good morning like that before.

Shall we run?

Excuse me?

Run?

To be honest, I'm a little afraid of horses.

Not fast

just a little faster.

I don't mind.

Is it ok or not?

I don't want to fall.

You won't fall.

Is it ok?

Yes!

Let's try it.

Yes!

When I got to the orphanage

my first thoughts were

'God, where am I? Take me away from here.'

Was it fun?

Yes.

I know that.

I lost weight to my bones

my hair was falling out

every time I brushed it I would lose more.

We didn't know what was happening to Veronika

and not knowing was a kind of torture.

My legs!

Thank you.

He is lovely.

It's very scary

when you're an adult

but you still can't help those you love.

Is it your first time?

Enough for the first time!

Did you fall asleep easily last night?

You still had thoughts?

Yes.

Do you remember those thoughts?

I was thinking about the day I was released

from the isolation ward in the orphanage.

That was the day I became completely indifferent

I stopped trying to occupy myself

with books or drawing.

I didn't want anything, I just lay there.

They brought me breakfast but I left it.

Then the director of the institution came

and said I could be released

not because my time was up

but because I didn't want anything anymore.

I only had one week alone

I was lucky because I was told that

another girl had three weeks locked up all by herself.

After being in isolation

I will do anything to avoid being alone.

It felt like that week lasted forever.

They drove me to the point where

I didn't want anything anymore.

When I was told I could join the others

honestly, I have never packed my bag so quickly before.

I was surprised that the therapists and I

are actually doing some good work together.

One of the conclusions I was shocked by

was being diagnosed with depression.

So I am always smiling but I also have depression.

I used to joke about being depressed

but now it's not funny anymore.

Her need to talk is great

because she doesn't have anyone to talk to

about what she's been through.

She hasn't been truly happy for a year and a half.

One of the things that came to me was that

she smiles at every emotion.

Some of what she was saying resonated with me

which led to a moment of compassion between us.

It's really a lot.

Shall we hug?

Let's stay focused.

The therapists and I discovered I have different types of joy.

Not all of them are genuine.

It's a defence mechanism.

The therapists say it might help me

if I feel some genuine joy.

Let's go to the Himalayas.

We will forgive it all.

If it rains I'm under an umbrella.

This thing is seriously heavy.

So run in there.

Go! Run, run, run!

Go back to the starting point.

Why?

You didn't run in.

It's too deep.

Sasha, go and splash for goodness sake.

Are you okay?

We'll take it by storm!

Sasha, submerse yourself completely.

Sit down on your ass.

When they released me from prison

I was told that my children went to Moscow

a surge of rage shot through me.

When I spoke to Russian social services

they told me they could not give my children back

because I might hurt them psychologically.

I said stealing children from their parents

is what is traumatising them.

Sasha, I said not to swim far.

I said 'I am coming for them'.

I didn't know how I would do it

but I knew that I would.

Sasha has tried to create contact

with many of the women here

but for some reason she chose me.

Thank you! Very beautiful!

There is a note inside too!

I want to ask you later about what's in there

and what exactly you meant, okay?

I'm not letting go.

Oh good.

You ok?

Are you singing something?

No.

What for?

I thought you wanted to sing.

There is a risk of re-traumatising Sasha

if she doesn't find a new Mama at this camp

she might feel like she has failed again

or that she is not a good enough child.

The thing is

she will keep searching

no matter how much love

and warmth I give her

she wants to know what it's like

to have a Mama.

Next time you see those patterns in her behaviour

can you tell her 'Sasha, believe me

I want to have a wife, I want you to have a Mama

I need warmth, tenderness and kindness

and I understand that you do too.'

Okay, I promise you I'll try it.

Deal.

He promised.

I'm making a ring.

What a beauty!

Finger!

Sasha, I mean Sviata.

Where is Sasha?

Do you know where I was Papa?

No.

At my base

it's nice and quiet there.

Is it loud here?

Everybody yells.

Got startled Papa?

Yes, daughter, it was scary.

Are those your feathers?

Inna turns into an angel at night.

Her wings are under her clothes right now.

Silence in the room please.

Don't touch the dog.

I can't help myself and you know it.

Yesterday Major and I went for a walk by the sea.

There were a lot of swan feathers.

I chose a feather for myself

and found lots of different ones.

It made me think about how different we all are

but we are also very similar.

To be honest, I missed you all

and I was sad not to be with you.

But we are so loud.

It's so fun to be with you all

so joyful.

So I started collecting feathers

and with each feather I thought about each of you.

I would love to give you each a feather

please choose for yourself.

The next task is

to choose one need

that will help you feel

the way you would like to feel today.

Just one Sasha

is your hearing bad or what?

Where is 'understanding'?

I've got it.

Ok, let's go around the circle.

'Understanding'.

'Patience'.

You need a lot of this.

'Safety'.

I chose 'a sense of humour' and 'understanding'

because I'm wearing these slippers today

which is already funny

and understanding because

I need someone who will also wear them.

I think I've found that person.

Can you do it with both legs at the same time?

I had a dream last night

that this was all over

and we were going home already.

Good morning!

Good morning.

Does he know how to give paw?

Paw!

Oh, well done!

Good job!

I used to be scared but now I'm not scared

because he is nice.

See, he has played with you and calmed down.

This made him happy.

Is Sasha still sleeping?

Yes, Sasha is sleeping.

Sasha is sleeping in late today.

Good morning.

You want to sit down? Come here.

He is jealous.

Yes.

He must be jealous.

Don't be jealous.

I want too.

Yes?

Come here.

Sviata can pet you.

Carefully.

But why don't you want to?

Look, scratch him here.

Why don't you want to?

What, Sash?

To become our Mama.

Major can be our little brother.

He can't be a brother but he can be a friend

he's a dog after all.

Sasha, you are a human and he is a dog.

I can be your friend.

Why only a friend?

Mosquito!

These mosquitoes are driving me nuts!

I think they finished.

Who?

In the shower.

Who was in the shower?

I don't know.

Did you brush your teeth or not yet?

Ah?

Have you brushed your teeth?

Yes? Probably not yet.

I brushed them.

Last night?

I think you're going to feel cold by now.

Not really and mosquitoes haven't bitten me either.

The big mosquito has flown away.

We'll feed Major

he's probably hungry.

This morning she wanted close contact

and really wanted warmth and closeness

and then she sat on my

knee and said 'Why?'

You know, a little kid, she just woke up

she looks at you and in a sleepy voice, says 'Why?'

'Why don't you want to?'

and I say 'Don't want what?'

'Why don't you want to be my Mama?'

'Major would be our little brother.'

and she snuggled so much

she has this feeling of just waking up

and it's so sincere, it's so warm, it's so real

and in that moment I want to give her everything

I can to help her in some way

these are the feelings.

Illegally deported Ukrainian children in Russian custody

are spread out between at least forty-three facilities.

A new report found that the purpose of these camps

is quote 're-education'.

Children are forced to sing the Russian anthem

and exposed to pro-Russian propaganda.

In some cases, Ukrainian children are forced

to accept Russian passports

which change their names and dates of birth.

But even if they forget where they are from

will a longing for the motherland persist?

If you think about the void, is it still there?

Yes, it is there.

It is in the void.

What thoughts and feelings arise today

when thinking about this emptiness?

I don't know

to be honest.

There is emptiness.

Yesterday you said that there was a black corner?

It's a black corner right now because this is emptiness.

The size of it is still the same?

Yes.

Nothing has changed?

What should have changed?

Nothing. I'm just asking.

Sometimes this black corner can get bigger or smaller

but it doesn't mean anything should change.

Veronika is shutting down again

and last time she came back from you

there had been a remarkable opening up in her

it's clear that this joy

is directly related to the horses.

We are getting closer to the issues

that weigh on her

it would be great to keep moving forward.

I agreed with Veronika

that this time she can have the reins

I think this will give her a feeling of self-confidence.

Luckily the forest does half the job for me.

When I was taken to the orphanage

I was crying a lot because

I was afraid I would never see my family again.

I had no way of contacting my mother.

Then I heard my Mum had spoken at the UN.

After that we were able to talk and she told me

it might be possible to come home

in time for my birthday.

I was very happy

I wanted to feel loved and needed again.

Shall we run soon?

Shall we?

My legs.

Go under the roof.

Did you trot on horseback?

On horseback.

So how was it?

It's cool.

Butt hurts?

No, but my jeans are wet.

It will by the evening.

Babushka!

When we found out where Veronika was

I went to Russia

to bring Veronika back home.

When I was finally allowed to see her

it was terrible.

She was always so joyful and sincere

and here was a girl

who was so grown up

and so scared.

I just didn't recognise her.

We were so happy!

Our dad was set free.

When he found out where we were

he came to us right away and took us with him.

Raspberry paradise.

Thank god we came here

otherwise we would not be in this raspberry paradise.

At first, the girls didn't recognise me

I was so thin that the children

didn't recognise their own father.

Go in front so I can see you.

I cried tears of joy

I had finally made it back to my children.

Good morning.

I'm glad to see you all in the circle.

This is our last morning, our last meeting.

I am curious to see what you have put in your boxes.

Can I begin?

Yes.

Three pebbles.

We found them at the sea with Dad.

This one I found by the trampoline.

I found a feather.

I picked a small spruce branch

to remind me of our stay here.

Sasha pleased me with her craftsmanship today.

Happiness and joy can be found

in the smallest details

you don't need anything huge.

Does anyone want to share more thoughts with us?

How can I fit my family into the box?

It's impossible.

Your family is next to you

why do you have to put us into the box?

You said we should put into the box

the things that are the dearest to our hearts

it's my family.

Thank you very much

now rejoice and enjoy the meal.

We need flour.

You need to mix all the ingredients.

We'll have a choir performing called Ellerhein.

Let's be sure to take photos

so everyone could have one for themselves.

Look how beautiful they are.

We are also beautiful.

You are of a different age.

I want to live with them.

Applause for the soloist!

We're all going back to our lives

but things won't be the same as before.

All of the feelings we shared, joy, laughter

tears, sorrow, we went through it all together.

Girls, where is our manicure set?

I've put it away already.

Ok, I see.

Sviata, why did you throw your stuff in my bag?

It's good that I'll see my friends and Grandma again

but I'll miss everyone here when I go.

That's it.

Happy end.

Well almost a happy end

I still have this void inside

and I don't like it.

But there were a lot of moments here

that I want to remember forever

the way we rode horses

gathered together to talk and laugh.

I want to keep filling up this void with

positive emotions and experiences instead of negative ones.

So much love, so much kindness.

Do you know what keeps us going?

Love.

She's going to strangle me.

I'll strangle you in my arms.

So cute!

And Major?

We'll put Major in front.

Maybe our story can be an example

for mothers, grandmothers, fathers

to show that you cannot give up

you need to do something, to take action.

You also need hope

that you can get your baby back.

I need people to understand that

we should fight to get our children back.